Dan Murphy

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Dan Murphy
Dan Murphy Image.png
"Liquor Salesman"
Birthday N/A
From Prahran, Melbourne, Australia
Height N/A
Weight N/A
Manager NEETKing (More of a spectator if anything)

Debut Match
Dan Murphy Pin
W
Rikyu
8chanmania 28
First Victory
Dan Murphy Pin
W
Rikyu
8chanmania 28
First Championship

[[]]


"Get fuck-eyed for fuck-all with Dan Murphy's!"
— Dan Murphy


Dan Murphy is the mascot and the name giver of an Australian liquor supermarket chain. Owing to the "lowest price guarantee" of his stores and the kind of crowd the latter attracts, Dan Murphy's enjoys a certain cult status in Down Under.

Bio[edit | edit source]

Once upon a time, there was a roight fucking cunt from 'straya who also happened to be a winemaker. Already intoxicated by the good stuff from his old man, Dan Murphy quickly set up his own small liquor emporium before he sold the entire crap to Woolworth and has been acting as the mascot of the retail chain named after him ever since.

Dan shares a special love-greed relationship with /ausneets/ - while he is more than happy to destroy the livers of the Strayacunts in exchange for their financial assets, Dan seems to genuinely care for his little alcoholics, and his words imply that he seeks to shield them from the harsh truth of reality more than anything.

In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]

Season 1[edit | edit source]

Dan Murphy first entered at 8chanmania XXVIII as a board representative for /ausneets/ in the Board mania winning 2 matches, losing in the 3rd round to Fat Bald Bastard, and later was in 8chanmania XXXI the Last Chance Mania where again he lost in the 3rd round, to the eventual winner of all of 8chanmania, Brendan Fraser.

8chanmania X MFW[edit | edit source]

Dan Murphy was one of the fighters from 8chanmania chosen to fight the champions of Monster Federation Wrestling during the events of 8chanmania_x_MFW_-_IN/V/ASION. He won his first match against Manako before succumbing against Lala in the second round. To his defense, Lala ended up winning the entire tournament.

Season 2[edit | edit source]

During Season 2, Dan made an appearance in 8chanmania XLV. He stopped the station-killing antics of the Grey Tide by forcefully feeding it a bottle of the strong stuff and proceeded to pull Earth Mimicry out of orbit, but was then KO'd by Iji Kataiser in the quarter finals.

Being a true 'strayacunt, Dan also acted as the trainer for Komala during 8chanmania LIV. It was of little use, as the tree-hugger immediately lost to the Rotom-Heat of Adolf Hitler.

Murphy made another appearance at 8chanmania LXII. There, he fittingly defeated Shirtless Boong and made it into the second route as one of the few promising characters. That he was yiffed by N8 proves that fate is an inherently cruel and malevolent entity. He will appear in 8chanmania LXV alongside Shirtless Boong.

Ironically, Murphy would team up with Shirtless Boong for 8chanmania LXV, but cheap liquor and aboriginal "dreamtime" were not enough to outmatch the burgers and general comfiness of American Bear and Big Mahu.

Season 3[edit | edit source]

Although Dan did not fight in 8chanmania LXXXIII proper, he participated in a pre-show match with seven other individuals interested in investing into BANZAI Inc. He unfortunately did not make it overly far, and was the fourth wrestler to be kicked out of the ring (supposedly falling to a chair trick by Dosh King.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Dan Murphy serves as Striker and Captain for /ausneets/ in the 8chan Cup.