Giant Enemy Crab

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Giant Enemy Crab
Giant Enemy Crab Image.png
Birthday '
From '
Height GIGANTIC
Weight GIGANTIC

Debut Match
Giant Enemy Crab Pin
W
EDF Ranger
8chanmania XC
First Victory
Giant Enemy Crab Pin
W
EDF Ranger
8chanmania XC
First Championship

[[]]


The Giant Enemy Crab is a part of actual, Japanese history.

Bio[edit | edit source]

During E3 2006, Sony was showcasing various games in order to make people forget the $599 price tag it intended to slap on the PS3. One of them was Genji: Days of the Blade - an otherwise fairly unremarkable action title whose battles, as the lead dev proclaimed, were based on "famous battles which actually took place in ancient Japan". This took a turn for the hilarious when the developers showcased a bossfight against the legendary "Giant Enemy Crab". Which, as every weaboo knows, is as integral a part of Japanese history as committing soduko and being violated by giant enemy cephalopods.

As the collective audience pulled forth its Japanese history books, the developer attending the presentation became visibly nervous. His further insistence that "you hit its weak point for massive damage" while switching your weapons in real time was of little use - the Giant Enemy Crab had already become one of the worst PR gaffes in gaming history.

In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]

Season 3[edit | edit source]

The Giant Enemy Crab debuted in 8chanmania XC. It crushed the EDF Ranger between its pincers, resisted the whip slashes of Simon Belmont, and bested the Unreal Tournament veteran Blake before finally being sent beyond its point-of-no-return by Max Payne.

In 8chanmania XCII, the giant crustacean taught Todd Howard that he could not, in fact, climb it; went on to defy Tifa Lockhart's barrage of kicks and punches before doing her in, and then had its privacy thoroughly violated by Discord.

The crab's last known appearance was in a sideshow match during 8chanmania XCVIII. Teamed up with Godzilla, it made the catastrophic mistake of challenging Chuck Norris and the Jackie Chan Tulpa - with predictable results.

8chanmania C[edit | edit source]

During 8chanmania C, the Giant Enemy Crab was one of the critters participating in the "Battle of the Big Guys". It did fairly well, being the sixth (and thus last) of the seven fighters who were forced to leave the ring.