8chanmania C

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8chanmania C
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The Mania to End All Manias
Start Date August 29th 2020
End Date August 29th 2020
Champion Dr. Morbis
Preceded By: Followed By:
8chanmania XCIX Terminus Est



8chanmania C was the final mania to occur, and took take place on August 29th 2020 (starting at 1pm, rather than the usual 3pm). It was markedly different from previous manias, as the audience was asked to add entire matchups instead of individual fighters. It furthermore did not follow the classical tourney plan. Instead, aforementioned matchups were mixed up with assorted story matches.

The last fight of 8chanmania C (and 8chanmania proper) was a brutal three-way duel between the grand champions, which eventually saw Dr. Morbis as the final victor.

Intro: It's Happening[edit | edit source]

While Default-Chan was busily announcing the intro to 8chanmania C, she was rudely interrupted by Ron Paul, who thought it necessary to remind her he could have saved them. Deffy did the logical thing and sicced all champions of 8chanmania:Season 3 (and oddly enough, a second Ron Paul) onto him, resulting in an epic battle royale match that was ultimately won by Mega Man X.

Ron Paul still had the last laugh as he ended up ensuring that it's happening.

Actual Fights[edit | edit source]

Intermission: Matthew Stevens[edit | edit source]

Still on his way back to his family, Matthew Stevens got lost in the labyrinthine tunnels running beneath the wrestling facility. He eventually ran into the Fat Bald Bastard, who promptly announced his plans to take Matthew's wife and daughter as compensation for his failure to show up at work (by virtue of being dead). Fortunately, Betty Newbie found this to be most disagreeable, and did not only proceed to butcher the FBB in three curbstomp matches in a row, but also went on to sacrifice his rotten soul to her perfectly immaculate baby son Damien.

More Fights[edit | edit source]

ABBY STRONK[edit | edit source]

Abby Anderson is sent out to reclaim the wrestle gear from a nearby facility. She first faces Raiden whom she battles for further information. A crit later, the Ripper told her to look for "White Snake" - a code name she soon associated with Teagan Almace. Suffering a partial mental breakdown over issues of memory loss and planted memories, Abby dispatched Teagan with another crit. The latter subsequently confronted her with the unpleasant fact that the Wrestle Gear did not, in fact, exist - yet Abby was not yet willing to give up. Her further search led her to Jetstream Sam. The pinfall he suffered brought no further information from him, other than to not blindly trust her uncle on all issues involved.

Abby calls Armstrong, Armstrong rebukes her for blindly believing Teagan and Sam. She checks out the supposed resting site of the Wrestle Gear and indeed finds it empty, but unwittingly triggers an alarm that calls Solid Snake onto the plan. The latter not only defeated her via submission hold, but also explained that Abby Armstrong was not, in fact, Abby Anderson, but rather a girl called Sarah Alvarez, who had been recruited into one of Armstrong's brainwashing programs at the tender age of 6 after having been orphaned and abandoned by a foster father who used her as a tax payoff.

Not exactly amused, Sarah went off to face Senator Armstrong himself, and ultimately did him in via pinfall (while also insulting his skill at cooking omeletts). Thus restored, Sarah Alvez set out to find her own fate.

Even More Fights[edit | edit source]

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny[edit | edit source]

Royal rumble between:

Hilarity ensues as Dwayne Johnson glitches out so spectacularly that he becomes unable to either move or be attacked, causing his opponents to vainly try and target him before they return their attention to easier enemies. At the end, only Johnson are Darth Vader are left, and as Darth Vader rapidly keeps circling around The Rock in an attempt to somehow attack him, the Rock does - absolutely nothing. Even as the game is set to 1200x speed, causing Vader to move around him like an orbiting moon.

Johnson and Vader were last seen floating through the purple ether of the cosmos, Vader still circling around The Rock. Chances are he's still doing it to this very day.

Did we mention more fights?[edit | edit source]

Historical Harrowing[edit | edit source]

George Washington had planned to hold a royal rumble consisting of only the finest and most historical figures. Sadly, Bane wouldn't have it, and his attempt to storm the rumble with his own mooks ended up attracting even more third-party actors. The list of fighters thus included:

Whether it was because of her shining personality or because she was the last (and hence least worn-down) fighter to enter the ring, Utsuho remained as the last birdbrain standing. Nonetheless, Bane considered the event to be his own victory - having not even jobbed in the last season, he had still hijacked a major rumble for his own purposes. Even Washington saw himself forced to concede that point.

Dunpan Productions[edit | edit source]

A Friend in Need and Gathering Clues[edit | edit source]

After Gintoki Sakata has been taken hostage by Dr. Morbis in his attempt to keep his hands away from Dunpan, the latter and Lil' Vi enjoy a vacation in Finland. Or would like to, at least, but both dearly miss Gintoki. They decided to go and rescue him, but needed clues regarding his whereabouts.

When asked about the issue, the local Spurdo Spärde recommended to "just fug it :DDD" and warp directly to the end credits, which is to say, the epilogues of 8chanmania XCIX. As Lil' Vi thought it unwise to inform her big sister of their plan and Default-Chan couldn't be arsed to pick up the phone, that was exactly was they tried.

Meanwhile, Dr. Morbis was still busily trying to break Gintoki's mind, while also having found himself a new partner-in-crime in the form of Vile.

The epilogue warp of Lil' Vi sadly was frustrated by the fact that only four of the 32 epilogues had run on "her" engine and hence were available to her: Those of Dunpan and herself, that of Yusei Fudo, and that of Zero. Going with that of the reploid, they asked Zero and Mega Man X if they knew where Morbis was hiding. The latter fortunately had plenty of experience when it came to finding the secret fortresses of mad scientists, but still could only give her a list of five potential hideouts; necessitating further investigation.

After warping to Dunpan's own epilogue and finding it rather useless, their probing of Yusei Fudo revealed Morbis' facility was rumored to be somewhere in Europe. Violet additionally infiltrated her own epilogue, but this caused nothing more than interwarping timelines and a mental breakdown on the part of Violet, who complained after having to look after a potentially reality-altering girl.

The Facility[edit | edit source]

At any rate, the list of possible hideouts provided by Zero and Fudo's knowledge it was in Europe allowed Lil Vi' to pinpoint Morbis' facility in neighboring Sweden. Arriving there, they were barred entry by Mecha Cirno. Her 133 megahertz processing unit was nearly tricked into letting the invaders enter the base (after having politely been asked if it was okay). The opposing parties then negotiated a deal: If Dunpan were to beat Mecha Cirno in a fight, they could enter the base. If Mecha Cirno defeated Dunpan, they would acknowledge it as the strongest robot and also could entert the base. Needless to say, Mecha Cirno promptly agreed.

With Dunpan handily dispatching the robot, Lil' Vi and the elephant ventured deeper into the facility. They ran into, and then ran away from Vile after the latter graciously offered to tear them into pieces, but then Vile in turn was run over by Yusei Fudo (and his bike). The player of childrens' card games told his two unlikely friend to flee before taking on Vile personally in a long-awaited grudge match. Although he won it and told Vile about the powers of friendship (TM), he soon was attacked by one of Morbis' own Ape Men, and thus preoccupied for the rest of the events.

Meanwhile, Lil' Vi and Dunpan made some progress on their way, only to run into Hazardo. The evil robot might have gutted them, had it not been for the timely intervention of Zero. As the girl and the elephant darted off again, Zero engaged Hazardo in an arduous match across nearly 17 minutes before finally defeating him. But much as with Fudo, Zero ended up being waylaid by an Ape Man.

Facing Dr. Morbis[edit | edit source]

The girl and the elephant finally reached Gintoki; finding him in a state of near collapse after all the torture (and having his Pokemon trading cards stolen). They were set to escape the facility, only for Dr. Morbis himself to show up and reveal that had neatly fallen right into his trap - bringing the elephant he wanted all along right to him. Assured of his victory, Morbis offered to fight one of the three - Lil' Vi, Dunpan, or Gintoki himself - in a last battle. But who would fight him? It was a choice of deep gravity.

Until Gintoki said "Screw the rules" and decided they might as well all gang up on him at once. Morbis was not pleased, but could do woefully little in the invariable curbstomb battle that followed. It was only after that match ended that the bad doctor pulled a nasty trick out of his sleeve - a unbreakable force field in which he imprisoned the three heroes.

Unfortunately for him, he sort of forgot Violet's complaints about Lil Vi' being able to fundamentally alter reality (or rather, rewrite the narrative) were not meant in jest. Something which became apparent when the girl simply disappeared from the bubble and reappeared with angelic wings. Having supposedly only used 10% of her powers in her previous fights, Morbis' poor treatment of her dear friend Mr. Dunpan meant he was in for one he could not possibly win.

To Be Continued[edit | edit source]

Defeated again, Lil Vi' was about to warp Dunpan, Gintoki and herself back to Finland, yet Morbis was a crafty man, and had more than just one trick up his sleeve. While he and the heroes had fought, his army of Ape Men had captured Yusei Fudo and Zero - their lives in acute danger should their allies show any resistance. Once more, the mad scientist reveled in his superiority.

And once more, Gintoki said "Screw the rules" and decided to "have the episode end on a cliffhanger". Which it promptly did. Cue credit roll, and Gintoki explaining they would just start the next episode in media res while vaguely mentioning how the cliffhanger got resolved off-screen. Lil' Vi's complaint that this would create a plothole was turned down on the grounds that "all the other good shows out there do it like that, too". Which naturally is some complex meta-level fuckery. And naturally worked like a charm. By the time the "next" episode started, all five heroes were back in Finland, loudly contemplating how lucky their apparent escape was.

What followed was a brief period of contemplation and, eventually, farewells. Fudo retuned to his harem, probably playing childrens' card games to this day. Zero went back to hunting Mavericks. And Lil' Vi and Dunpan? Came back home to the ring, answering Violet's startled question where they had been all the time with a hearty "Finland!"

(Gintoki nearly ended up being charged for animal abuse after bringing an elephant into an underground wrestling ring, but got off free due to the sudden appeareance of Lil' Vi and Dunpan on the defense, and King Harkinian as the judge).

Battle of the Boners[edit | edit source]

An eight-corpse Royal Rumble between the following Undead (in order of entry):

Ainz Ooal Gown wins.

Yakuza Arc[edit | edit source]

TL/DR:


Short Story Long:

Be it through fate or accident, Kazuma Kiryu did what he always did and stumbled into Goro Majima. The banter resolved as per usual, yet Majima seemingly made a tactical mistake when he loudly wondered if Kiryu's by now rather rude mouth was the same he had kissed " a certain girl" good-night with - and if that also was the reason she ran off to parts unknown. This resulted in the fight Majima had wanted all along, and, having been bested by his best enemy, he happily told Kiryu a certain Kazuma Kuwabara might know where said girl is. His spirits rekindled, Kiryu set off to find her - and reluctantly thanked his old foe for the hint.

Kuwabara, for his part, had no intention whatsoever to share the whereabouts of Ouya-tan with Kiryu. He argued that the Yakuza's care had not so much helped ti protect the girl as it had turned her utterly unable to stand on her own two feet, and that he had not raised her into a true bancho just to see this process repeated. The battle that followed spanned over the better part of 20 minutes, and only ended after Kuwabara had run completely out of breath. Still spouting insults, he was taken by surprise when Kiryu thanked him for watching over Ouya-tan in his absence. Kuwabara warned him Ouya-tan would likely kill her old mentor if he went after her, but with Kiryu declaring this to be an acceptable risk, he grudgingly told him she had left him after finishing her bancho training. And was last seen around a guy named Galsia.

Galsia sadly was not the helpful type, necessitating another scrap. After informing him that dental protheses in Tokyo were fairly expensive (especially if they had to find your missing lower jaw first), Galsia reconsidered his options, and told Kiryu he last saw Ouya-tan alongside another console girl - one that had no games.

Rest assured PS4-tan likewise was in no mood to indulge the yakuza, insisting the way he had abandoned her had turned Ouya-tan into something far different from the sweet girl she once was. The inevitable bout of wrestling nearly saw Kiryu pinned on more than one occasion before he finally made PS4-tan tap out. The latter still had Kiryu spell out he had come to love the lonely little console as if she were his own daughter before dryly noting this was all she had wanted to her - and cautioning him that she might have a slightly different idea of things by now.

At the end of the day, Kiryu finally stood before Ouya-tan herself. To claim she was less than thrilled to see him would have been an understatement, but if spontaneous signs were anything to go by, the sudden rain that started right along their battle was a pretty good one. After just one second shy of 13 minutes, Kiryu ultimately managed to subdue Ouya; but rather than forcibly taking her with him, he simply let her know that there would always be an open door at his place - despite Ouya's repeated threats she would kill him.

It did the trick. Moving on unsteady legs, Ouya-tan half-jumped, half-stumbled into the arms of the yakuza. She obviously wasn't crying or anything - that was just the rain.


The Battle of the Big Guys[edit | edit source]

Another Battle Royale, this time between seven big guys (in order of appearance):

The Day the Honking Did Not Cease[edit | edit source]

A rubber-shoed 4vs4 tag team battle between:

and

Team 2 loses after Chen (♂) is pinned by Fargus in the corner of the enemy team.

R-23 / Captain Falcon R Arc[edit | edit source]

Forced back into the Replica Hivemind during 8chanmania LXXVI, R-23 accompanies Paxton Fettel, who wonders how and why R-23 managed to break free from the hivemind in the first place. Fettel subsequently sends out R-23 to kill his beloved brother Point Man. The resultung fight largely runs in the Replica's favor, until Alma Wade realized someone is beating up her little boy and interrupts the match. R-23 then had to fight Alma herself, and actually put up a pretty good show until Alma started to stomp his lights out.

On the plus side, this severs the Replica's connection to the hivemind again, but scares him so shitless that he immediately attacks Nanami when the latter tries to wake up "Charlie". Nanami continues the concussive therapy started by Alma and beats the crap out of R-23; very nearly turning him back into Captain Falcon R. Sadly, he's not quite there yet, so the two visit the one man who can teach R-23 how to be a hero again: Groose. The latter finished the clinical application of suplexes and headbutts until R-23 was once more his real self: Captain Falcon R.

Before the good Captain could make so much as a move, however, he was apprehended by Kurt Wylde. The racer complained he had been on a streak of bad luck ever he lost against Falcon R for the first time, and now demanded a rematch - notably not in the ring, but on the track. Cue an impromptu race in the game Drift, which Wylde one by a mere fifth of a second.

With that out of the way, there still one thing to do: Take care of Fettel Paxton himself. And by all that is just, Falcon R did it with a vengeance. Though he ultimately spared Paxton's life, he still subjected him to a lengthy sermon about the true nature of justice, and made it perfectly clear that any attempts to enslave him again would be his undoing.


Vampire Arc[edit | edit source]

Dracula and Kain exchange banter so hot most other vampires would immediately have turned to ash before dishing it out over the question who of them is the greater bloodsucker. Though the battle is first, Kain gives Dracula a healthy dose of "VAE VICTIS". Dracula, however, suggests a second match in which two representatives of their respective bloodlines will fight: Remilia Scarlet (who happily agrees) and Raziel (who tells Kain to fuck off but accepts the match anyway).

While Raziel manages to make Remilia tap out, the vampire girl quickly announces that she is just getting started. Raziel, being a sophisticated wraith, tells her that her sister Flandre has found her home's secret reserve of "pudding" and is about to eat it all by herself, causing Remilia to run off crying. Thus, Kain's brood is proven to be the superior one.

Incidentally, either Dracula or Kain were supposed to fight Kars of the Pillar Men in order to find out who really was the most powerful vampire. Incidentally, TNA-Anon screwed up and launched a fight between Dracula and Kars before Dracula and Kain even battled, resulting in the victory of Dracula. As Kain subsequently kicked Dracula's ass, the question probably solved itself.

The Grand Final[edit | edit source]

Befitting it's name, the grand final saw a threeway match between the grand champions of all three seasons - namely Hero of JUSTice Brendan Fraser, the genocidal Yuuka Kazami, and the mad scientist Dr. Morbis. It was posed to be an epic battle, yet the fight had barely started when the freshly returned Gondola suddenly interrupted the match. With rising horror, Default-chan realized that the mythic Wrestle Gear never had been a machine, but Gondola itself.

The three champions reluctantly joined forces to subdue its monstrous power in an RPGMaker battle. Yet it was in vain - Gondola was fully immune to all of their attacks, and after waiting through five rounds of combat without so much as a scratch, Gondola's own attack promptly crashed the game. This rift in reality allowed the long-forgotten WIP to infiltrate the tournament's dialogue system and 8chanmania itself. To make matters more bizarre, the three champions next had to battle Gondola in a Touhou-style bullet hell game (with Yuuka as the player character and Brendan's JUSTice serving as the bomb). Even so, Gondola proved too strong, and the team quickly burned through all of their CCs. Their attempt for a new run was blocked by WIP, who sent them on a ride to crazy town.

First halt was in Besiege, followed by Super Smash Bros., the relatively obscure Hyperspace Outlaw, a string of The Hunger Games, Monster Hunter World, Minecraft, Pokemon/Fullderp and finally Soul Calibur. Utterly defeated, Brendan rallied his enemies-turned-allies for one last time and once more tackled Gondola inside the RPG Maker. Gondola continously kept altering reality itself as they fought, until they passed the very edge of the universe where nothing but raw Frasergy exists. Recognizing this, Fraser himself exclaimed they could also alter reality itself - Yuuka imagined up a garden and a sun, Brendan imagined up a house, and Morbis imagined up a large bag of money (and Dunpan). This led to Gondola becoming comfy, and ultimately falling asleep.

With Gondola out of commission and WIP's desire for FUN satisfied, the three champions could finally return to their actual battle. In a match that saw more suplexes, powerbombs, and top-post fliers (and whiffs), any outcome could have been possible. But after 19 minutes, Dr. Morbis not only managed to finally pin Yuuka, but also did the same thing to Fraser exactly two seconds later.

Morbis reveled in his victory, and announced his invariable plan to get rid of The Cheetahmen. Considering all the enemies he fought and defeated, Fraser wondered wether his ongoing failures to best them really stemmed as much from a lack of skil as it stemmed from a lack of will, yet Morbis made it perfectly clear he merely considered them as failed tools.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

  • First RPGMaker Fight

  • The Touhou Battle

  • Inside Besiege

  • Inside Smash

  • Inside Hyperspace Outlaw

  • Inside the Hunger Games

  • Inside Monster Hunter World

  • Inside Minecraft

  • Inside Pokemon (and/or Fullderp)

  • Inside Soul Calibur

  • Facing Gondola once more

  • The actual battle

Endings[edit | edit source]

Dr. Morbis[edit | edit source]

As the Cheetahmen already were fighting a losing battle against the improved sub-humans Morbis had created with the prize money from 8chanmania XCIX, Brendan Fraser and Yuuka were the only serious threats to the good doctor's long-term plans. Chief of which was world domination, of course. But throughout his career in the mania, Morbis had come to understand that achieving it via violent means was a possible, yet highly inefficient move. He set out to create something which would turn all of the world into his slaves out of their own volition.

And thus, in a cold night on the year 20XX ... the first mass-producible cat girl was made. Net happiness around the globe increased exponentially, yet so did Morbis' influence over it. At the end of the day, he ruled the globe without so much as having fired as single shot.

Brendan Fraser[edit | edit source]

Though Brendan has lost the battle, he had not lost the war. As the Frasergy-draining Wrestle Gear had been revealed as an elaborate hoax and the Frasergy stolen by Endolynn returned after the 100 "Just"s of the Brendan Frasergy Movie Night, one might have wondered why he had not used it to fuck his foes' shit up. The answer was simple: Frasergy was chiefly meant to unfuck shit. And it also was too much for one man to handle.

Fraser released all of his Frasergy and returned to his relatively quiet life as an actor. The Frasergy itself formed its own consciousness, at one with all of mankind. From this day on, whenever man would cry "Just fuck my shit up!" at the very verge of desperation, a tiny fraction would flow upon him, allowing him to unJUST his shit. Whether divorce lawyers spontaneously catching fire was related to this is the subject of ongoing discussion.

Yuuka Kazami[edit | edit source]

Her defeat saw Yuuka warped back into Gensokyo, much as most of her other compatriots. But this did not result in even more murder and sadism - on the contrary: Having spent the last three years locked up in various types of cages while being kept away from her flowers had badly harmed her sanity. Being returned to them healed these wounds. Yuuka laughed and cried and laughed as she hugged every last sunflower of her garden personally. As well as various fairies, oblivious as to how badly they were trembling.

She also laughed when she spotted a human who was picking flowers from her garden without her permission, and buried him several feet beneath it. But it didn't matter. Yuuka Kazami was finally home.


The Last Goodbyes[edit | edit source]

Saying their thank-you to assorted members of the cast and audience, Default-Chan and Violet bade their last farewells. Default-chan notably called the audience assholes for considering her a slut, but then found herself at a loss for words. Their job done, Violet urged Lil' Vi to say her farewells to Default-Chan and Dunpan. The thought of evacuating from the elephant made the little sister severely unhappy, to say the least. They joined for one last "PROOOO" before things went dark.

Knowing that, so long as people would remember them, they would still exist. Cue one last credit roll.

Gallery[edit | edit source]

  • The Family Picture

  • A Last Hug


DELETE THIS![edit | edit source]

TNA Anon ended the mania by publicly deleting all files of his mod-overladen, painfully unstable copy of FPWW from his hard drive; never to touch anything from Chunsoft again. Terminus est.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • 8chanmania C took a whooping 11 hours and 7 minutes to complete - nearly twice as much as the usual five to six hours of a regular mania.
  • Dr. Morbis victory in the finals was watched by exactly 52 viewers. He and the Cheetahmen were part of the Action 52 game collection.
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