American Bear
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- "Freedom Ain't free. The tree of liberty and freedom gotta be litterd with the blood of Patriots. Barack HUSSEIN obama aka "B. O" is not my presidnet. he is Islamic gommunist and probbaly kenyan as well :DD. ADAM and eve not adam and STEVE ok. praise jesus."
- — American Bear
- — American Bear
American Bear is an animal of freedom.
Bio[edit | edit source]
On the first day, the Finns created Ylilauta, and it was good horrible. On the second day, Ylilauta users realized that the board's surprise appearance on Finnish TV would flood it with hordes of underage newfags, so they took Pedobear and transformed him into Spurdo Spärde in a mocking parody of them. And on the third day, Ylilauta's growing fame got them into the same mess with international visitors on /int/ - specifically and chiefly Americans.
They thus took Spurdo and transformed him into the American Bear - your stereotypical American tourist that applauds the pilot when his plane lands, is puzzled that no-one overseas speaks American, and insists on his right to bear arms so he can shoot himself when his corn syrup-induced diabetes earns him a five-figure medical bill. If it's any solace, the average American Bear is rarely encountered outside assorted tourist traps and fast food restaurants.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 2[edit | edit source]
American Bear debuted in 8chanmania LXI. He left a lasting impression on Mr. Brown by KO'ing him with a hip drop and likewise buried Duck King under burgers, but eventually found himself unable to meet the rhythm of Duane!.
He appeared once more in 8chanmania LXV alongside fellow heavy weight wrestler Big Mahu. They duo proved remarkably successful, defeating:
Their string of victories was only brought to a grinding halt by the reality warping powers of Glitch Boss and Baba.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
American Bear later was among the nominations for PilotMania. He came, saw, and immediately suffered a heart attack after too much exercise against the Penitent One.
Seven American Bears (and one Alasgan Bear) set the table for the pre-show match of 8chanmania LXXXIV when they stormed the store of Recette Lemongrass in desperate search for the new white gold: Toilet Paper. One call to Banzai later, all eight bears dished it out in the ring, with American Bear (well, one of them), being the eventual victor.
In yet another unplanned move, a bunch of American Bears stormed the ring after the finals 8chanmania LXXXVIII. Finding themselves face to face with the legitimate successor of Adolf Hitler, they made use of their Third Amendment and shot her - which did not prevent her later zombiefication and rise from the grave.
The last appearance of American Bear in the ring proper was during 8chanmania XCVIII, where he teamed up with Alasgan Bear. Their match against Gintoki Sakata and Dunpan was nothing short of comical - after a synchronized double Fatman Roll that caused half of the audience to spit of its drinks, they were disqualified when Gintoki kept Alasgan Bear out of the ring for long enough to incur a RingOut.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
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Dog bless :DDD
