Ashurbanipal

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Ashurbanipal
Ashurbanipal Image.png
Birthday ~ 685 BC
From Assyria
Height '
Weight '

Debut Match
Ashurbanipal L
Sub
Aku
8chanmania LXI
First Victory

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First Championship

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Ashurbanipal (or "Aššur-bāni-apli") was king of the Neo-Assyrian Empire from circa 669 to 631 BC.

Bio[edit | edit source]

Ashurbanipal was the second male heir of Esarhaddon, and thus had seemingly drawn the short end of the stick when it came to primogeniture. Political finicking (and endless nagging) on the part of his grandmother Naqia thankfully ensured his older brother Samas-suma-ukin was sent off to run Babylon as a vassal king; making Ash the direct successor to the Assyrian throne.

As a ruler, Ashurbanipal took up the popular Assyrian pastimes such as warfare and genocide. He razed neighboring Elam to the ground and quelled a totally unexpected rebellion on the part of his brother in Babylon, but while Ashurbanipal's sheer brutality (and his tendency to gleefully boast about it) kept the shop together during his lifetime, it quickly fell apart once he kicked the bucket.

To his defense, Ashurbanipal also was an intellectual and an avid collector of writings. He personally ordered the construction of the Library of Ashurbanipal, stacked to the brim with clay tablet from people he had murdered (or had threatened to murder) beforehand. It would remain the largest of its kind until eventually being surpassed by the Library of Alexandria hundreds of years later.

In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]

Ashurbanipal fought in 8chanmania LXI. The seasoned warrior faced of against the demonic Aku, but ended up tapping out after a manner of mere minutes.