Bashar al-Assad

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Bashar al-Assad
Bashar al-Assad Image.png
Birthday September 11th, 1965
From Syria
Height '
Weight '

Debut Match
Bashar al-Assad W
Pin
Xanthous King Jeremiah
8chanmania XXVII
First Victory
Bashar al-Assad W
Pin
Xanthous King Jeremiah
8chanmania XXVII
First Championship

[[]]


Bashar al-Assad is a Syrian politician, currently serving as the highly legitimate president of Syria since 2000.

Bio[edit | edit source]

Heir to Hafez al-Assad, who had been busily turning a vaguely democratic Syria into a good and proper dynastic dictatorship, Assad could have lived a quite and ordinary life popularizing the internet in Syria, had it not been for the untimely death of his elder brother Bassel. This placed him right on top in the pseudo-royal line of succession, and by the time his old man kicked the bucket, Bashar was quick to pick up his office and install even more cronies in various political offices.

El Presidente's constant and somehow invariable electoral success came into serious trouble during the 2011 Arab Spring, in which the Syrian peasantry loudly wondered how al-Assad always got 101% of the vote. To make matters worse, some particularly nasty ragheads decided to fund the Islamic State, and Western nations were aching to export a bit of 'freedom' into a long-term ally of Russia.

Twelve years (and counting) of civil war later, Assad is still in office, and now even gets 102% of the vote as the rest of the world promptly forgot about the entire affair over cute dog puppies on Twitter.

In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]

Bashar al-Assad fought in 8chanmania XXVII. He de-crowned Xanthous King Jeremiah, but then was moved to tears by Chop Chop Master Onion.


Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Despite of rumors to the contrary, al-Assad is neither Vulcanian, nor the long-lost brother of Mr. Spock.