Big Bill Hell
| Big Bill Hell | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Big Bill Hell is the presumed proprietor of Big Bill Hell's from the advertising parody of the same name.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Described as one of the "meanest sons-of-bitches in the State of Maryland" and "the only car dealer that tells you to fuck off", Big Bill Hell is a man of his word, and will flatly warn you that he "will rip your nuts off" if you plan to screw with either him or his business. Many would consider him a man who uses stronger words than necessary, but in an industry where just about everyone else is lying flat to your face in order to sell you a car of questionable quality, Big Bill at least has the straightforward honesty to not only tell you that the car is shit, but that he also considers you to be "such a stupid motherfucker" that you'll buy it anyway.
Big Bill Hell is also regarded as the inventor of Challenge Pissing, a sport in which the challenger attempts to piss six feet straight into the air without getting wet in an attempt to forego downpayment. It should be noted that this is a special event which ends the minute after you wrote Big Bill Hell a check with your name on it - and it better not bust, or you're dead, motherfucker.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Big Bill Hell debuted in 8chanmania XCIII. He remarkably won his first match against the giant car-mecha Turbozord by utterly knocking him out with a hefty uppercut 65 whole seconds after the beginning of the fight. Big Bill subsequently claimed Turbozord for himself (while also putting Turbozord's erstwhile owners on his debt/hit list), and went on to enact a fairly similar procedure to the Grot-piloted Killa Kan. By the time of the quarter-finals, the car dealer had been contacted by no-one other than Slaanesh, who offered to buy his entire stock if he won the mania for him/her/it, but Big Bill's encounter with Hank J. Wimbleton put a fast stop to these plans.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
The original Big Bill Hell's commercial was evidently based off a 1988 advertisement from the Baltimore area car dealership Heritage Owings Mills Auto Park.
