Brendan Fraser
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| "The Just Man" "The Man Whose Shit Got Fucked Up" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Brendan Fraser is an American actor. He is especially known for his role as Rick O'Connel in The Mummy, but has also starred in movies such as George of the Jungle and Monkeybone.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Highly respected for his acting skills, Mister Fraser's shit got thoroughly fucked up in 2014 when his erstwhile wife divorced him (and demanded an annual $900,000 in alimonies). For some reason, his career in Hollywood also ended after Fraser revealed he had been molested by the head of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (which is strange, as Hollywood normally prefers children), and a nasty family affair only made things worse.
But like the phoenix out of the ash, Fraser returned. By 2018, his career slowly began to pick up again, and by 2019, he was freed from the monstrous alimony payments. Fraser finally was unJUSTed, and thus had become a paragon of JUSTice himself.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 1[edit | edit source]
Fraser originally entered the mania during 8chanmania XXVIII, serving as the representative of /just/ during the side-wide event. He fully expected to get trashed, yet his first match against the mysterious Reginald Brownpill and the latter's philosophical musings about having to eat shit and how to handle it lit unknown fires within the depressed actor. He would proceed with the removal of Remove Kebab, and brought a just end to Elliot Rodgers. It was only in the semi-finals and under the crushing weight of the Fat Bald Bastard that Brendan suffered a KO.
He was renominated for the "Last Chance Tournament" of 8chanmania XXXII, and boy, did he go in. Fraser did not allow Sam Hyde to get away with it, cleared the Tetris Block, and resisted the attempts of Dan Murphy to turn his despair into alcoholism. After his victory of The Strongest, he won his belt in the last possible moment by defeating Teagan Almace. This however unlikely turn of events made him into an instant fan favorite.
As one of 8chanmania's champions, he next entered the grand finals of 8chanmania XXXIII. His power proved superior to the nanomachines of Senator Armstrong, and he showed Proto Man that there still were heroes left in man. The incessant honking of Chen could not stop him, the efforts of John Doe fell flat, and when Brendan finally ended Clown in the finals, reality itself seemingly came to a standstill.
His title as the grand champion of Season 1 was rewarded by Calypso, who gave Brendan access to his own Frasergy - effectively turning him into a god-like being with the ability to unfuck the shit of everyone else in order to bring JUSTice to the world. Of course, this being Calypso, this treat came with the drawback that Brendan's powers only manifested in an alternate universe.
8chanmania x MFW[edit | edit source]
During the events of 8chanmania_x_MFW_-_IN/V/ASION, Brendan was abducted and captured by the manipulative Endolynn, who had summoned the timeless monster Shugr'gnest to trap the just man and drain his powers. He eventually was freed by /monster/'s own Lala; with the support of W.I.P and Teagan Almace.
Alas, the loss of his Frasergy had been so traumatic that it could not be restored to him. Instead, if flowed out to the universe, ready to be harnessed by every sentient being - for good or ill.
Brendan Frasergy Movie Night[edit | edit source]
After the word "just" was muttered more than a hundred times over the course of a movie night with titles starring Brendan Fraser, several Anons died from alcohol poisoning after drinking far too many shots than was good for them. Coincidentally, the powers that be also promised Brendan would be reunited with his lost Frasergy.
Season 2[edit | edit source]
GLaDOS claimed she had been using a mysterious device called Wrestle Gear to gather the Frasergy Brendan had not yet absorbed back into his body. She then used it to bring about the events of the second season, including the abduction of all involved wrestlers and the refurbishing of the Aperture Science Labs into the Aperture Science Physical Testing Facility.
Brendan himself was not seen during the second season.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
When Dr. Morbis won the finals of the third season in 8chanmania XCIX, he entered the vault of the facility in order to claim the Wrestle Gear he had been promised. What he found instead was a huge sum of cash and a washing machine, complete with a sarcastic note from Calypso. The Wrestle Gear and all of its supposed powers apparently had never existed.
8chanmania C[edit | edit source]
One of the three grand champions, Brendan ultimately came to fight Yuuka Kazami and Dr. Morbis in the ring during 8chanmania C. Or would have, rather, if the sudden appearance of Gondola had not interrupted them. For in secret, Gondola had been the actual Wrestling Gear all along, and now used its reality-warping powers (alongside WIP) to take the three champions on a wild ride. Said ride only ended when the three foes began to alter reality itself, and built Gondola a cozy home in which it promptly fell asleep.
This matter settled, Brendan and his opponents returned to their three-way fight. Things took a turn for the unexpected when Morbis not only defeated Yuuka, but also did in Fraser himself no more than a few seconds later.
Epilogue[edit | edit source]
Though Fraser theoretically could have crushed his opponents with his Frasergy all along, he had long realized that he wielded more power than any given man realistically should have. Brendan thus released the Frasergy, and whenever man would cry "Just fuck my shit up!", a part of it would flow into the victim and allow it to unfuck its shit. Brendan himself returned to a relatively quiet life as an actor.
Whether the sudden increase in divorce lawyers spontaneously catching fire is a related issue remains unknown.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Brendan Fraser is an enthusiastic amateur photographer.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
Brendan Fraser with his belt and various individuals unJUSTed
