Cirno
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- "I'm the strongest!"
- — Cirno
- — Cirno
Cirno is an ice fairy that originates from Touhou Project. Initially serving as a Stage 2 Boss in Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, her wild popularity with the fans saw her starring as the protagonist of Fairy Wars, and one of the playable characters in Touhou Hisoutensoku and Hidden Star in Four Seasons.
Bio[edit | edit source]
A little girl with a very big ego, Cirno is absolutely obsessed with the idea of "being the strongest" - a concept that, combined with her catastrophic lack of common sense, would have seen her dead a dozen times over, were it not for the fact that Touhou fairies are effectively immortal and quickly "respawn" after every death.
The fairy is one of the most prolific wrestlers to appear in 8chanmania, repeatedly trying (and failing) to win a belt for herself to the point that her efforts turned into a kind of unintentional running gag. "Bakas don't win belts" is a recurring chant every time Cirno gets her skull caved in yet again, but while the general sentiment sees her as a perpetual loser, Cirno's insistence on being the strongest has made her oddly endearing to most of the audience. Her fervor goes so far that she, at one point, actually cheated by remote-controlling the mech Nine-Ball after she herself was barred from the tournament. Needless to say, she still lost.
Aside from her role as a wrestler, Cirno also has been a commentator for the 8chanCup; with her mix of child-like innocence and raw stupidity frequently driving the main host Default-Chan to the very edge of her sanity.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 1[edit | edit source]
As with most veterans from Season 1, the lack of proper documentation means exact details of her involvement are sparse.
She may or may not have debuted at 8chanmania VII.
Unsurprisingly, she also was nominated for 8chanmania 9.
During 8chanmania X, she and the equally icy Esdeath formed a tag team. They were not cool enough to handle Marco Rossi and Fiolina Germi from Team Metal Slug.
Her earliest properly recorded appearance was at 8chanmania XII, where she enjoyed remarkable success: Cirno not only defeated the Banana Fairy Queen, but also did the same to the Mayor of SimCity, the Jaguar Warrior, and even Quattro Bageena. Her first real chance to win a belt was ultimate denied by no-one other than Jesus Christ himself.
She participated in 8chanmania XV, but everything outside her entering the ring has been lost to history.
During 8chanmania XXVII, Cirno's superior strength allowed her to win her fight against Midna, while her superior intelligence (relatively speaking, that is) awarded her with victory against Indrick Boreale. Unfortunately, her lack of superior nano machines meant she lost against JC Denton in the quarter finals.
Her second chance for a belt came during 8chanmania XXXII. There, she gave a handshake to Rin Tezuka, proved the belief of Kenji Setou that all women are inherently evil, left the TF2 Engineer baffled by having that much power in such a little frame, and then got stumped by Brendan Fraser. In her defense, the man was destined for greatness.
8chanmania x MFW - IN/V/ASION[edit | edit source]
Cirno was one of the hand-picked fighters selected to represent /v/ during the events of 8chanmania x MFW - IN/V/ASION. She promptly found herself baffled by facing an oddly metallic version of herself, but pulled through. Her efforts were rewarded when she likewise (and again) tormented Kenji Setou in the next round, but faced with Proto Man, she once again was reminded that bakas don't win belts.
Season 2[edit | edit source]
After consistently jobbing for all of Season 1, Cirno sought to underline her uncanny talent in 8chanmania XXXVI when she got kicked out of the preliminaries by Contralto 'Alto' Cantabile.
Then the impossible happened: Cirno finally won a belt during 8chanmania XXXIX, successfully knocking out Eustace Baggage, Baby Cakes, Ankha, and Gunther Hermann before landing a crit on Mr. Bones himself.
Entering 8chanmania LXVI as a champion, Cirno faced her golfing friend Plum and ... immediately jobbed right out of the preliminaries.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
Not to be deterred, she naturally was back for PilotMania, but while she clearly was the strongest while fighting Raiya Mikazuchi and Miketama, the frost giant Brauggi proved to be just a tiny bit stronger than her.
Cirno fought once again in 8chanmania LXXIV. She gave the The Conductor a problem (despite of having no ticket), but then got done it by J. F. Blake.
For 8chanmania LXXVI, Cirno (the strongest) teamed up with Zara (the fastest), and was managed by Remeer (the smartest). The combination turned out to be remarkably resilient - the two fairies curbstomped Gru and Waluigi, pulled the plug on Snake Sanders and the 80s Noise Marine, thoroughly played with Yemmi and her babysitter Violet, and even took down the infamous LoL AngegnA police officers Lamaj and Erioioire; making it straight into the finals. It was only there that the girls suffered defeat at the hands of Mega Man X and his partner Zero.
Cirno tried to earn her second belt in 8chanmania LXXXII, but this project was cut short when she was KO'd by Knuckles in the preliminaries.
During 8chanmania XCV, the absence of Default-Chan and Violet meant Cirno and Lil' Vi were allowed to run the commentary booth all by themselves. This worked well enough until Utsuho Reiuji threatened to blow up the nuclear reactor which was installed to cope with the rampant hunger for power of the reactivated gellar field. The plan failed miserably as Cirno got stomped in record time, but for whatever it was worth, it also distracted Utsuho for long enough to make the bird-brain realize she was unintentionally blowing up the reactor while shooting small suns at an annoying fly.
TRIVIA[edit | edit source]
- Cirno has been looking to acquire a rug ever since during commentary for an 8chancup match that involved /u/. As of Pilotmania, she's planning to buy a ship, sail to the South Pole, and beat up an ice bear to get one.
- Cirno's association with the number nine stems from the manual of Phantasmagoria of Flower View, where she was labeled in a screenshot of the game as '⑨: an idiot'.
- While Cirno is a pushover compared to the series' heroines, she actually is a powerhouse when compared to other fairies.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
Cirno labeled as a 'バカ', or idiot.
Cirno as a commentator during the 8chanCup
Cirno and Protoman, moments before their fight.
Cirno and Protoman, moments after their fight.
Cirno strangling Kenji during 8chanmania x MFW - IN/V/ASION
Cirno with her belt. God help us all.
This is a thing, and you can't do anything to change it.
Cirno with her belt.
