Colonel Volgin
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Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin was a major antagonist from Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater, and would later appear in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.
Bio[edit | edit source]
A true Soviet comrade-patriot, Volgin initially served in the NKVD, and defended the Union against all outside threats - be it deserting conscript, some Polish thugs in Katyn, or the Hungarians getting uppity back in 1956. The death of his father led Volgin to discover his interest in philosophy, toys-boys, and politics. And everyone knows, getting into politics nowadays requires you to be in possession of a nuclear-armed walking tank.
Actually getting one required a lot of cash (which he got from his local philosophy club), and even more fancy tricks - such as using alphabet soup to trick The Mother of American Special Forces herself into joining the USSR instead. What Yevgeny didn't remember was that being able to shit proverbial lightning did not prevent you from burning your mouth (or most of your body) by improperly handling alphabet soup. Stepping on snek doesn't help, either.
The rest of his history is shrouded in rumors. Some suggest Volgin was so well done steak critics would have cried bloody murder. Others insist he retired to organize a Russian bootleg version of the Burning Man festival. And yet others insist he quietly became a zookeeper, only get mauled to death by a very irate, iron chimpanzee. Look - as far as we know, he might as well have just randomly dropped dead. Volgin lost his thunder one way or another.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Colonel Volgin fought in 8chanmania XLIX. Hibiki Tachibana's attempt to subdue him with weapons-grade concert music ended when Volgin showed her the US wasn't the only nation that have AC/DC. Still, he got his his ass handed back to Moscow after running into the Devil Summoner Protagonist
