Dan Schneider
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Daniel James Schneider is a US-American pedeatric.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Born to a Jewish family in Memphis, Tennessee; Dan Schneider originally studied medicine in the hopes of becoming a doctor. He eventually abandoned his academic career, and instead founded the field of pedeatrics - that is, the discipline of curing various physical ailments by massaging the dense nerve clusters situated within the human feet.
Despite of the discipline's popularity in the early 2000s, pedeatrics faced two central problems: For one, the nerve clusters stimulated by this practitioners of this discipline rapidly atrophied by the time the patient reached maturity, making it virtually useless in adults. For another, the only organ with enough tactile sense to spot the often minute blockages in these nerve clusters was the human tongue.
These issues, coupled with smear campaign engineered by Big Pharma, led to a massive witch hunt that saw Schneider driven out from the medical community. His sole saving grace were the intimate contacts he gained while serving as the personal physician of various Hollywood figures; earning him a however reluctant job as a sitcom producer.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Dan Schneider fought in 8chanmania LXX. His attempt to cure the grief of fifteen-year-old Alis Landale by massaging her feet led to unexpected complications - and an irate Alice kicking his teeth in.
Coincidentally, Josh Nichols and Drake Parker were both heard muttering a sigh of relief.
