Donkey Kong
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Donkey is the name. Kong is the game. Dong is the fame.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Donkey Kong is the brainchild of Shigeru Miyamoto, who conceived him for the original Donkey Kong arcade game after being denied the license for a Popeye game. He thought Donkey was analogous to "stubborn" in English, but while Nintendo of America had a giggle when he showcased the character, the name stuck. Curiously, Donkey Kong originally was meant to be Mario's pet. Much of his "modern" character only came about by his role as the protagonist of Donkey Kong Country, where it is implied that the original Donkey Kong actually was a younger Crankey Kong.
Being a proverbial monkey, DK is about as intelligent as you would expect, and generally would prefer to spend his days lazing around and eating bananas. The recurring theft of the latter typically serves as his primary motivation to get his hairy backside into motion, but even though DK gets himself captured nearly as often as he frees other captives, he is not the kind of primate you want to meet when he is going apeshit.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 1[edit | edit source]
Donkey Kong presumably debuted in 8chanmania IV, where he defeated D.Va and Sackboy. He next fought Kirby, but the outcome of this match and subsequent events have been lost to history.
Season 2[edit | edit source]
His long absence came to a halt when he returned for 8chanmania LXXIX. The King of the Jungle still had it in him, and handily used it to defeat both Junior Constable Cactus and Knuckles Boom. His defeat at the hands of Ansem during the quarter-finals lead to wide-ranging outrage in the audience.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
The third bungle in the jungle came during 8chanmania LXXXII. Although his primate brain could not quite comprehend what in the hells was going on, Donkey Kong went apeshit on Kojiro Hyuga, stopped the eating spree of Sinistar, forced Midna into submission, and bambozeled the TF2 Engineer before finally claiming his first belt by punching and breaking the hyper-weapon of Rance.
Unfortunately, DK's stint at the grand finals of 8chanmania XCIX was exceedingly brief - even his gorilla strength did not bring him victory over Dr. Morbis. Defeated, a rather disgruntled primate returned to his house on Kong Island.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
Goes nicely with his necktie.
