Fat Bald Bastard
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- "Everyone has a price"
- — Fat Bald Bastard
- — Fat Bald Bastard
Suppose you have a sweetheart. A woman that you love from the deepest depths of your heart. Suspect furthermore that there was a being whose entire existence was centered around taking this woman away from you; ideally while you are watching. And just like that, you have the Fat Bald Bastard. Be it through money, blackmail, or other means, he will make your girl spread her legs for him, and sending you a video of the act is one of the nicer things he can do to you.
It comes as little surprise that the Fat Bald Bastard (or FBB, as he is also known) serves as /hgg/'s nuclear option, and thus is only deployed when the collective board seeks the absolute destruction and/or humiliation of its opponents.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
The Fat Bald Bastard in his original form mercifully was only sent out twice - once during 8chanmania XXVIII, where he served as the champion of /hgg/ and almost won the finals before Sly Marbo put him back into his place, and once after the end on 8chanmania XXX, where he tried to steal the various girls Rance had "captured" from him.
As of Season 2, the Fat Bald Bastard seemingly had a major change change of morals, and nowadays fights as the Fat Bald Priest. Whether or not this is a true change of faith or whether the FBB is simply trying new tactics to deposit his mass upon girls remains to be seen.
Alas, few evils are defeated forever. Though still wearing the clothes of a priest, the FBB went back to his old ways by the time he entered 8chanmania LXXIII. The prayers of John Ward when he fought this gargantuan block of a man went unanswered, nor did the canine instincts of Bigby Wolf or Remeer's peculiar obsession with puzzles stop him. The Fat Bald Bastard went so far as to threaten the harem of Yusei Fudo, but that was the last mistake he made in that mania, and he was thoroughly defeated by the bike-riding card enthusiast.
The FBB presumably died after trying to get his hands on the wife and daughter of Matthew Stevens in 8chanmania C, only to thoroughly have his shit kicked in by a rather indignant Betty Newbie and ultimately being sacrificed to her innocent baby son Damien.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The FBB's favorite TV station is the Dutch channel "NTR".
