Gintoki Sakata
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Gintoki Sakata is the titular protagonist of Gintama.
Bio[edit | edit source]
A childhood as a corpse-looting scavenger and his participation in the Joui War saw formed Gintoki into a master swordsman that combines physical strength and nimbleness with an impressive degree of physical resilience. In strong contrast to this, his actual personality could best be likened to that of an older child: Gintoki is hopelessly lazy, and while he can turn into a one-man army during a real combat, the sight of his landlady as she tries to collect the rent of her perpetually cash-strapped tenant is enough to make him flee in terror.
Naturally opposed to the idea of actually having to work for a living, Gintoki still runs an outfit called Yorozuya which does all manners of odd jobs in exchange for a modest fee. The latter helps to finance his unhealthy addicton to sweets (specifically chocolate) and his fondness for alcohol, but as mentioned above, not much else.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 3[edit | edit source]
Gintoki debuted in the PilotMania; presumably having taken up the offer to fight for Team Banzai on the grounds of a financial incentive. He quickly came to regret this decision when his first opponent turned out to be an entire Zaku II, and as Gintoki was distracted by his worries about the mother of all copyright lawsuits, it did not come as much of a surprise that he promptly lost that match.
To his dismay, the White Yaksha promptly found himself dragged back into the ring for 8chanmania LXXV, where he faced yet another ridiculous opponent in the form of Dunpan. With him not being used to fighting elephants, this battle resulted in another loss, and Gintoki was forcibly conscripted into the cleaning staff of the venue to pay of his debts.
He was given a third chance to pay himself out of his wage slavery in 8chanmania LXXXVI, with an (un)pleasanty surprised Violet being forced to act as his tag team partner. To the amazement of everyone involved, the two promptly jobbed out against Amakasu Barley Tenji and Rinon, and it is said that Gintoki is still cleaning toilets to this day.
In 8chanmania XCVIII, Violet gave Gintoki one last chance to clear his debt if he managed to win so much as a single match. To this end, he was given Dunpan as a partner, and actually managed to end his slavery when he and the elephant bamboozled American Bear and Alasgan Bear. With Gintoki having attained a state of transcendent bliss, they went on to scramble the eggs of Dagda and Demifiend, only to manhandle the massive mammaries of Big Tiddy Tau and Hex Maniac in the following round. Their next victory against the nanomachine-enhanced Sam Armstrong and his niece Abby Anderson paved their road towards the finals. The latter, finally, saw them dancing off against the fancy moves of Duane! and Disco Hitler - a fight the two likewise won.
Alas, the belt only is large enough for one elephant. The resulting post-show match between Gintoki and Dunpan was the stuff of legends, yet amidsts plenty of trumpeting, Dunpan ultimately got the better of his partner-in-crime. Gintoki himself did not mind this, for he had already attained his goal - not having to clean toilets for the foreseeable future.
Capture and Release[edit | edit source]
When Dunpan lost to Dr. Morbis in 8chanmania XCIX and nearly was captured by the evil scientist, Gintoki revealed his true nature as a hero and sacrificed himself to let the elephant escape. Morbis tortured him relentlessly (up to and including stealing his Pokemon trading cards), but ultimately was rescued by Dunpan itself and Lil' Vi during 8chanmania C.
