Ouya-tan
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Ouya-Tan is the anthropomorphic personification of an Android-based miniature gaming console that no-one ever bought.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Born into this world with great promises of "freeing the games" and an immense Kickstarter dowry to boot, the much-hyped release of Ouya-Tan and her console went on to become a complete disaster as the latter sold a mere 7000 units - less than a fraction of what other consoles would usually sell, and certainly not enough to establish any lasting legacy. Stemming from this and the long period of social isolation that followed, the otherwise amicable girl has a deep-rooted fear of being alone and may go to extreme lengths in order to get figures from popular gaming franchises onto her console.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 1[edit | edit source]
Ouya-Tan made her debut in 8chanmania XXVI, which was console war mania. The only thing known for sure is that she fought and lost against Kazuma Kiryu, who took such great pity upon the desperately lonely girl that he invited her to stay with him and his adoptive family. Considering Ouya-Tan had been starving for love and affection since the moment she came to be, it came as no surprise that she flew right into his outstretched arms in one of the most heartwarming moments of the entire mania.
8chanmania x MFW - In/V/asion[edit | edit source]
Ouya-Tan served as Kiryu's coach/cheerleader during 8chanmania_x_MFW_-_IN/V/ASION. While not taking an active role in the fights, she nonetheless protected Kiryu from falling to High Orc and the overpowering sex pheromones the latter released upon her defeat (notably telling "Ms Piggy" to get her hands off from her "Kermit"), and likewise saved him from having his backside battered by Aniki after losing to him one round later.
Season 2[edit | edit source]
Ouya-Tan and Kiryu formed a tag team for 8chanmania XLIV, winning an impressive initial win against Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose when she landed a critical hit on Ambrose after a mere three minutes into the match. Alas, the two could not handle the genocidal antics of Yuuka Kazami and Luca Blight one round later.
In 8chanmania L, Ouya-tan reluctantly fought against Hatsune Miku in the hopes of being reunited with Kiryu. She lost, but the idol mercifully recognized one of her biggest fans when she saw her and invited her to tag along. Thanks to the noble sacrifice of Knuckles, the two managed to escape when Line-Block attempted to erase them from existence on behalf of The White.
Having lost Kiryu, Ouya-tan very nearly would have fallen into despair if she hadn't run into Kazuma Kuwabara. The latter saw the misery of the poor little thing and not only became her new guardian, but also vowed to teach her the way of the bancho. Ouya put this to excellent use when she landed a freaking submission critical on Nigra (who fought alongside Shaggy Rogers) during the preliminaries, and the unlikely pair likewise sent a forced meme and some YouTube e-celeb packing, but the rhythm of Scatman John and Buane was something they could not dance to.
She and Kiryu finally reunited for 8chanmania LXV, but it appears the long time away from her erstwhile savior and a school of hard knocks under Kuwabara have drastically changed her. Now a bancho herself, Ouya was less than pleased to be reunited with her old friend, which perhaps explains why the two immediately lost against George Constanza and Tomoko Kuroki. Following her defeat, she shouted at Kiryu to go home and leave her behind, almost as if her console was going to be discontinued in the near futu- ... oh.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
Ouya, now turned into a buff Bancho thanks to the teachings of Kazuma Kuwabara, entered 8chanmania LXXIX in order to make herself some money. Her initial attempt to rob Mr. Monopoly failed, but although she later defeated him in the ring, the girl was no match for the Machamp of Aniki.
8chanmania C[edit | edit source]
The events of 8chanmania C revealed Ouya had been wandering - after finishing her training under Kuwabara, she briefly hung out with Galsia before she was taken in by the distant relative PS4-tan. Her meeting with Kazuma Kiryu after the latter had fought through assorted foes initially was anything but happy, but as Ouya lay defeated, she admitted that that the thought of Kiryu throwing her away - just like everyone else - had scared the living daylights out of her. Cue the the tearful reunion, as a whimpering console girl jumped straight into the waiting arms of her surrogate father.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Do not actually buy an Ouya.
- Reminder that TNA Anon has actually bought an Ouya.
