Piro Il Grezzo
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Nicola "Il Grezzo" Piro is the protagonist of the Doom total conversion Grezzo Due.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Piro is a farmer from the lovely Italian city of Perugia who hates absolutely everything, with special attention paid to Christianity and its various manifestations in the staunchly Catholic country. He sets out to annihilate the religion and begins his onslaught by butchering everyone present at the Silver Wedding anniversary of his grandparents at a local church.
Not much later (but not before raping and killing a young foreign girl in his appartment) Piro suffers heart attack and dies. God tries to judge him in the afterlife, but Piro is having none of that and returns to Earth to continue his indiscriminate campaign of localized genocide. Many shenanigans later, he enters the womb of the virgin Mary, performs an unauthorized abortion of Jesus, and fertilizes a conveniently placed egg of Mary with his own precious fluids. A newly formed Piro is then seen bursting out of Mary's belly like some kind of blasphemous chestburster.
To be fair, the game is not content with shitting on Christianity but takes a glorious piss on Italian pop culture in general, with many enemy and bosses being assorted celebrities. Hells, Barney the Dinosaur makes an appearance.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Il Grezzo debuted in 8chanmania LVII. He thankfully made short work of Sonicfox and did the same to Mileena, but his peasant blood could not compare to the blue veins of Rolf (M&B).
In 8chanmania LXXII he managed to make short work of Fred Durst, Winter Alto, Lightning, and Mario before facing Dr. Morbis. Fortunately after a long fought battle he managed to make Morbis submit, but not before getting the idea to blow up the Vatican if he wins 8chanmania XCIX.
Piro entered the finals of 8chanmania XCIX with grand plans. To put them to action, he started off by dealing a whole lot of pain to Max Payne, sent (You)r ass packing, and even punched the high-and-mighty airs out of Remilia Scarlet. Sadly, no amount of piss Piro could put on Dr. Morbis (verbally or otherwise) prevented the evil scientist from first defeating the Italian.
Piro's epilogue stated his loss probably would have seen the fat fuck dying from a heart attack and playing poker with some buddies in hell, but Dr. Morbis had other plans. Piro hence came to enjoy his new existence as a "pavement shark or something".
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Like virtually everything else in Grezzo Due, even Piro's own player model is "borrowed" from another game. More specifically, he uses the model of the enemy NPC Billy Ray Jeter from (the also infamously bad) game Redneck Rampage.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
This might as well be in-game.
