Santa Claus
| Santa Claus | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| St. Nick | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Santa Claus is the jolly old fellow who delivers gifts to children on Christmas.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Santa's exact origin is a bit complicated: Ostensibly spawned by the Greek fourth-century Saint Nicholas of Myra, Santa incorporates pre-existing elements of the English 'Father Christmas' and even older aspects tied to the Germanic Pagan deity Odin - essentially culminating in the figure of a long-bearded old man that ran around provides gifts during the time of the annual winter solstice. The popular belief Santa was invented by Coca Cola is little more than a glorified urban myth.
Modern-day Santa lives on the North Pole, brings good cheers, and spends all but one day of the year whipping away at the Christmas Elves that slave away in his toy factory sweatshop. In his defense, distributing gifts to approx. two billion children across all time zones within the span of two days is no small feat, and on Christmas Eve, Santa probably has more speed in his system than Aimo Koivunen during the Finnish Winter War.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
Season 1[edit | edit source]
Santa Claus debuted in 8chanmania IX. Sadly, lacking records mean nothing beyond him not winning a belt has survived.
Season 2[edit | edit source]
His reappearance in 8chanmania XLIII saw Santa dueling and losing to Jesus Christ over the claim who of them 'owned' Christmas.
Season 3[edit | edit source]
Santa made one last appearance in 8chanmania LXXIV. He actually managed to defeat Saint Nicholas of Myra (i.e., the very man who spawned his myth), but given the choice of defeating Matthew Stevens or making sure Dad would be home this Christmas, Santa more or less threw the match.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- You better leave some milk and cookies on the windowsill. Or else.
