Swolecard

From 8chanmania
Jump to: navigation, search
Swolecard
Swolecard Image.png
Birthday '
From Terran Empire
Height '
Weight '

Debut Match
Swolecard W
KO
Mewtwo
8chanmania XXVIII
First Victory
Swolecard W
KO
Mewtwo
8chanmania XXVIII
First Championship

[[]]


"Make it swole!"
— Swolecard


Swolecard is an alternate version of Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation - Broken Mirror.

Bio[edit | edit source]

In a bizarre mirror universe where the first aliens came in peace and humanity with a shotgun, Swolecard serves as the captain of the ISS Stargazer. Patrolling the borders of the Terran Empire around its native solar system, he and his crew are united in the same three qualities found in all mankind: Being swole, being ruthless, and - above all - utterly despising aliens. Particularly after they got uppity in a slave revolt.

Where the original Picard first and foremost was a diplomat that only used violence as a last resort, Swolecard is the type whose phaser would be permanently stuck on 'Shoot to kill' - if only it had other firing options in the first place. He is the epitome of the modern man in a iron, authoritarian world; where the 'other' is hated and the weak are culled. Of course, (You) promptly fell in love with him.

Totally not because he just is that goddamn swole.

In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]

Swolecard fought in the inter-board tournament of 8chanmania XXVIII, where he represented /strek/. His first round against Mewtwo ended in a resounding KO (presumably because Swolecard mistook the Pokemon for an alien), but all the swoleness in the world could not prevent him to tap out against the Fat Bald Bastard.