Thin Man
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The Thin Man is a staple enemy from the X-Com series.
Bio[edit | edit source]
Having undergone extensive genetic engineering and surgery to give off a passing appearance as a human, the Thin Men are aliens that were sent to Earth in order to infiltrate human society before their Ethereal masters started the full-scale invasion. Whether it are sightings of Thin Men that spawned the Man in Black myth or whether they were fashioned after the myth is a popular chicken-and-egg problem.
While Thin Men aren't pure combat breeds like the Muton, their lanky physique and their ability to contort their bodies in ways not compatible with standard human anatomy makes them supremely agile. Which is a flowery way of saying these cheeky cunts will reliably dodge every last of your 99%-to-hit shots, and promptly retaliate your immediately landing a crit on the guy who carefuly parked behind heavy cover.
Every single time.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
A Thin Man appeared in 8chanmania LXXVIII. Its attempt to pretend it was human was not entirely bought by Captain William Rush, who was very insistent that its slit-shaped pupils and the scales running along its neck and wrists were not in line with human anatomy. One submission victory later, the Thin Man revealed that it was, in fact, Jewish; and Rush hastily withdrew his accusation before it made good on its threat to file a complaint with both AIPAC and the ADL.
Despite of this early success, the Thin Man's masquerade ended when it ran into Franky, who had enough foreign bits and gubbins stuck in his own body to recognize something that clearly was engineered. Even more amazing was the fact that Franky somehow managed to put the Thin Man of all things into a submission hold; which is akin to making a rubber band tap out.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- According to XCOM 2, the Thin Men actually are a heavily modified form of the Viper aliens. Why the Ethereals bothered to put them into a tight-sitting (and not overly convincing) human costume when mankind would happily surrender to its snek dommy mommys is everyone's best guess.
