USS Iowa
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The USS Iowa was an American battleship. Yes, we got an entire goddamn battleship into the ring.
Bio[edit | edit source]
The USS Iowa was commissioned against the backdrop of World War II; specifically to oppose the German battleship Tirpitz in the sea of Norway. Outfitted with three high-caliber gun batteries and a myriad of smaller anti-air weapons, her most prominent roles included carrying President Franklin D. Roosevelt (along a bathtub he couldn't use) to the Tehran Conference, serving as the flagship of the US 5th Fleet, and blowing some hapless North Koreans to Kingdom Come by means of artillery fire.
The Iowa is remarkable in that she was meant to be mothballed in 1949, immediately was resurrected in 1951 for the Korean War, got mothballed in 1958, and was pulled out again and modernized in 1984 - more than 30 years later. Her being turned into a museum ship as of 2012 doesn't mean a thing - when the hour is dire and the day is dark, the US will just force her out of retirement anyway.
In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]
The USS Iowa debuted in 8chanmania LXXXV. Managed by Iowa of Kantai Collection, she defeated the fluffy-haired tank enthusiast Yukari Akiyama, if mostly because the latter was too busy fawning over the battleship. The inflexibility brought about be her tonnage made itself known when she got painted all over by the wolf deity Amaterasu.
For 8chanmania LXXXVIII, the ship teamed up with the same Yukari. They found worthy opponents in the Zaku II and the accompanying TF2 Engineer; with the Iowa eventually tapping out in a submission hold of the Texan. How exactly a ship can tap out is everyone's best guess.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The USS Iowa making it into the tournament was an inside joke on the part of TNA Anon - while the Anon who nominated her was clearly aiming for the gachashit boatslut from Kancolle, he didn't specify just which Iowa he wanted in the ring. Cue a literal battleship making its first appearance.
