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White Mage

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White Mage
White Mage Image.png
Birthday '
From '
Height '
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Debut Match
White Mage W
Pinfall
Revy
8chanmania LXIII
First Victory
White Mage W
Pinfall
Revy
8chanmania LXIII
First Championship
White Mage W
Submission
Renne Bright
8chanmania LXIII


The White Mage is a recurring job/character class from the Final Fantasy series, which in turn spawned her incarnation in the mania from 8-Bit Theater.

Bio[edit | edit source]

White Mage originally was one of the five founding members of the Warriors of Light, but got dumped after the rest of the party opted for Red Mage instead. Given how the four other warriors come in varying degrees of 'comically dense' to 'comically evil', she probably dodged a bullet there. Nonetheless, White Mage still shows up to heal the party whenever their shenanigans leaves one of them mortally injured or Black Mage's schemes ended up killing Fighter again.

Being the only chick of the team, White Mage is fawned over by both Fighter (which she seems oblivious of) and Black Mage (which she wished she could be oblivious of). The latter's unwanted attention often goes so far that White Mage has to break her equivalent of a Hippocratic Vow by whacking him out of the panel with her hammer. In her defense, she's the closest thing the whole comic has to a sane person. Never mind the botched resurrection attempt of Black Belt.

In 8chanmania[edit | edit source]

Season 2[edit | edit source]

White Mage made her first appearance during 8chanmania LXIII; serving as the champion of Hatsune Miku while simultaneously looking for Black Mage. Her debut fight against Revy went awry when White Mage's attempt to heal her tore up plenty of old wounds. Even after she had reluctantly put down her opponent by force, Revy still tried to shoot White Mage, and very nearly would have succeeded in doing so if it hadn't been for the timely intervention of Red Mage (who, in his own words, had been held in custody by the Lolice until now).

She went on to fight Lara Croft (whose tomb-raiding antics were very disagreeable to her) and would later land a crushing KO against Fumi Kanno (whose poor manners were not helping). By then, White Mage was in such a poor mood that she gleefully accepted the opportunity to hurt someone when she met four ghosts in the form of the Pac-Man Girls, and she no longer even tried to hold back when she finally faced and bested Renne Bright in the finals.

With the belt firmly attached to her hips, White Mage entered the grand finals of 8chanmania LXVI and cleanly won her first match against Rita Ciano, culminating in a victory of friendship and lasagna. Sadly, even her powers of healing did not suffice to mend the battered mind of John Doe, and the soldier kicked her out of the second round.

Season 3[edit | edit source]

White Mage, still harassed by Black Mage, entered Season 3 during 8chanmania LXXVII. It was, however, a brief return, as Dracula promptly kicked her out of the preliminaries.

Her useless companion still kept stalking her during 8chanmania LXXIX, but this time, things went slightly different: White Mage resisted the lewd artistry of Shadman, forced Turbozord, Hat Kid, and even the local Norter Ansem to tap out, and finally won her second belt by defeating Zell Dincht in the finals.

Her second belt allowed White Mage to enter the grand finals of 8chanmania XCIX, where she faced Matthew Stevens. It was a battle she would lose, but not without reason - as Matthew correctly suspected after the fight, she had allowed him to win on purpose; knowing that there was a promise to a certain little girl he had yet to fulfill. White Mage, as a result, may not have been the winner of the mania, but she certainly became a winner of hearts.
White Mage's epilogue explains that she actually was more than happy to leave the mania, being fonder of healing than of hurting. Yet the time in the ring had changed her - she knew that the blood and sweat of the arena were gruesome things, but sometimes? Sometimes she missed it.

8chanmania C[edit | edit source]

When Ron Paul stormed into the commentary booth of Default-Chan during the intro for 8chanmania C, Deffy did the next-plausible thing and sicced every last champion from Season 3 after him. The resulting battle royale was a sight to behold, but although White Mage relished the opportunity to sate her new craving for violence, she still was thrown out of the ring before Mega Man X became the last machine standing.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Word of god says White Mage is a copypaste of Pillowdin, who very nearly made it into the finals herself during 8chanmania LIX.

Gallery[edit | edit source]